(horror, gasp, faint, sneer)

I'm not really one for chat rooms etc and I only really use MSN messenger for chatting to Friends From Real Life, so I've not really got many online friends. Well, there's one or two that I've grown quite close to, but that's only because they live near me anyway so I'm able to meet them and thus change their label to Friend From Real Life.

I have to make that disclaimer, as I want it stressed that I do not make habit of 'falling' for people online.

But, along came 'B' (yes, back to abbreviations again. I am paranoid - so sue me) and it all went... strange.

We email, we talk on the phone, we send text messages constantly and I feel as if I know him. Actually, no, I don't feel as if I know him - I really do know him.

But, however to myself I do not find it a 'shameful secret' or anything like that, I still haven't told my friends. I've told Hannah, but nobody else. I want to - I really do, but it's not the kind of thing that I can just casually drop into conversation. Also, I don't want them to think I am 'boasting' etc.

I am not ashamed of him (Christ, I'm really not. If my friends knew him they'd all fall for him too), I'm just a little wary of what people will think of the situation.

I know I shouldn't care, but a little part of me still does.