*(This is old news and I was supposed to make an entry based on it days ago, but I shall do so now instead)*
On Friday I had my Religion exam (so easy - I'm pretty confident I've secured a good grade there) in the afternoon. I was standing at the bus-stop at around half past twelve, when I girl I semi-know from school drove past. Her and her mother rather kindly offered me a ride into school (her mum and mine sort-of know each other, because my mom used to clean her house). I thought it was so nice of them though - they didn't ahve to offer me a lift, but they did anyway.
So, because of that I arrived at school slightly earlier than usual. We were dropped off at the school gates and the girl excused herself as she had to meet her friend down town. So I stood at the gates and saw 'the girl'
(check the archives for background info on her - entries titled '
..there are others, but I can’t be bothered to look through all my entries for them - yeah, I’m a lazy bitch.)
And we started to chat (I’ve never really spoken to her that much before) and it was... re-assuring. I feel slightly stupid for putting her up on some sort of golden pedastal - she’s just regular. Now don't get me wrong - she’s great and I’m semi-sad that I never really had the opportunity to become more friendly with her - but she’s just not the wonderfully flawless girl that I thought she was.
As with before all the exams start, we have to go and sit and wait in the gym for a little while. So we went in and it was just me, ‘the girl’ and this gormless but sweet girl (affectionally referred to by the rest of the school as Flick (or Flick-a-bogey)). So, the three of us sat on the floor and made idle chatter for about half an hour or so, before everybody else began to arrive.
It was strange - after feeling so intimidated by her for so long, I was having a conversation with her and I didn’t feel threatened at all.
I am so much more self-confident than I ever used to be. I used to think so little of myself and was so scared of people. But now I can quite easily start conversations with people I barely know and I don’t feel intimidated by people at all.
So, if I’d been like this a couple of years ago I would have made so many more friends. I mean, I have enough friends, but I could have had so many more if I had been slightly more sure of myself. But I suppose that’s what growing up’s all about.
I feel good about myself.
Don’t burst my bubble.